


Bullet Proof

by butter_Stories



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depressed Keith (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depressing, Slow Burn, Step-siblings, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-29 09:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butter_Stories/pseuds/butter_Stories
Summary: Lance, a depressed 17 year old who learns at Altea academy has finally gotten his crush's number, but will they help heal each-other? or will the hardships of life come between them, will they be able to overcome their brains, and push through the fog of depression, or will they succumb to it.right after they start dating, tragedy strikes. will their lives continue to be intertwined? do we ever really know what is happening to those around us, do we even know what's happening to us?





	1. new beginings

Friday, 7:45 am

A crash sound from downstairs, and I hear a muffled “oh snickers!” coming from the basement, I roll my eyes, it’s probably one of my little siblings, trying to reach the candy, they will probably get discouraged in a few minutes. As a flow of candy themed curses flow through the old floorboards I chuckle and grab my backpack, it’s time for school, and mom will kill me if I’m late again.

I enter the school, panting, and am immediately assaulted by Pidge and Hunk, my very best friends, well, my only friends. We have study hall first hour, so we head to the library, we have a project to hand in on Thursday. Our normal table is occupied by freshman, so we shoo them away, Pidge dumps her always impossibly full bag unceremoniously onto the table and starts pulling out book after book. I lay my head down on the table, I’m already bored. 

Keith, the new kid, is sitting at the table across from us, writing notes for some subject or another, he puts his book down and scribbles something in his notebook, he has a color for every part of his notes, but I don’t know what is for what. The last thing he just wrote was in green, pidge’s favorite color. Although he just joined the school, he is already unbelievably popular, Shiro and Allura, the school’s Him and Her, are his friends, and he is cute. Barely even computing what I’m doing, I take a picture of him. 

Pidge snaps to attention at the click and grabs my phone, “Lance did you just take a picture of Keith?” she squealed, “no… “I mumble, a blush coloring my cheeks. “holy shit! You did!” she whisper-screamed waving my phone. “No, I didn’t, it was an accident” I hiss. “So, the hearts were an accident too?” she asks, arching an eyebrow as she shows the heart decorated picture to Hunk, much to my embarrassment. “Hey Keith, come check this out!” she shouted, 

Keith looked up from his book as a librarian shushed them. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and started walking towards them. His hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He had a smattering of freckles across his cheeks, but no tan. Note to self; ask Keith what sunscreen he uses. I think to myself as I hide my head in my arms. Pidge, that traitorous green gremlin hands Keith my phone, and I hear the phone being put down on the table. Keith slowly walks away, and sits back down. I lift my head again and mumble “is that a phone number?” Keith winks, gathers his stuff and leaves. Once he clears the door I start gasp in relief, what the heck just happened? Pidge is gaping at me and then towards the door where Keith walked through. 

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and when the final bell rang I walked home in a daze, almost forgetting my bag in my stupor.

Friday, 13:50 pm

Currently I have been staring blankly at the empty text message, trying to think of something good to write. Everything I come up with sounds either too desperate or not cool enough. After a few hours I decide that I should give it a day, let him think that I was too busy, although the reality couldn’t be more depressing. 

I had just finished marathoning Scream Queens when my phone buzzed. I lunged across my bed in a completely non-desperate way, crossing my fingers that it would be Keith, before it dawned on me that he never actually got my phone number. When I realized that it was just Hunk I groaned and picked up. “what’s up?” I asked, my voice cheerful, “what’s wrong?” asks Hunk, ok, so maybe I didn’t disguise my nervousness that well. “Oh, you know, I’m at some big party, and making out with some hot girl- “ “you’re T.V marathoning again aren’t you?” Hunk cut me off bluntly. “yup, and I mean Chanelle Oberlin, let me tell you about her, she is such a bitch, I love it!” I chattered excitedly. I could practically see Hunk roll his eyes over the phone. 

The thing I hated most about Scream Queens is that there is so much blood on the screen. I especially hate the shooting moments, in Glee, the only time we truly see a scene with guns and bullets, is during the school shooting, and even then, we see nothing. I actually wonder what it’s like inside such a thing, what does it feel like? This may just be the horror show speaking, but I kind of want to know what it’s like when someone dies in a shooting. Not someone I know of course, but like, a student or a teacher or something. Yup, definitely just the tv show speaking. I think I’ll go back to my marathon now.

I have to say, that I feel for a lot of the side characters, those who just stand to the side and everyone forgets them. We can sometimes see them with friends, but mostly they’re alone. I know that I should be grateful and more appreciative, after all there are people that have it wore then me. I get a message but I don’t hurry to open it, first finishing the episode that I’m watching. 

 

The amazing Lotor: hey loser

Lancelot: what do you want? 

The amazing Lotor: you know what I want, your death

Lancelot: haha, really funny, leave me alone

The amazing Lotor: you come to school Monday alive, and your life is ruined

Lancelot: why? What did I ever do to you?

The amazing Lotor: you know what you did…

The amazing Lotor has left the chat

What the actual fuck… what… why? I drop my phone, not caring as it hits the wooden floorboards. I get up and slowly walk towards the restroom, splashing water onto my face, and lean against the sink, resting my head against the mirror. I open the medicine cabinet, taking out a bottle, one that I had carefully marked with an aspirin label, instead of the original one. It was the only one from my original prescription. I open the bottle, pouring a handful of pills into my hand, and look in the mirror, at the bandages wrapped around my wrist, at the bags under my eyes, and put the pills back in. I was a coward for even considering it. Instead I grab my razor and engrave a word into my skin, watching the blood roll of my skin and drip into the sink.


	2. young love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, so there was a problem with uploading the last chapter T_T  
> I have re-uploaded it here enjoy!  
> sorry its short

Sunday, 3:20 pm

I’ve just finished the last episode of the second season of Glee. And I have got to do something! I’m just so bored, although the episodes were good, I just don’t have enough patients to sit for over an hour and do nothing but eat popcorn and watch the screen. I think all of us who suffer from ADHD agree. I decided to for a jog, and although I absolutely abhor any form of exercise or training, it seems like this will be the only thing that will help. I usually go for a run once a day to get my “sun time” so I am in pretty good shape. Not that I’m bragging or anything. But once I set off, I can make it to about two kilometers before I have to slow to a walk. I usually use this time to think, but not this time, no, this time I fill my head with static. Deliberately making sure to think about mindless things. 

Although most people think that I’m arrogant and self-centered, I actually have a lot of anxieties. I’m constantly comparing myself to others, and I don’t always feel good because of that. I used to blame it on other people, saying it was my parent’s fault because they were constantly comparing me to my siblings, and telling me off about everything. But, lately I’ve figured out, that it isn’t their fault, after all, I’m the one who is imperfect, it’s my fault that they are disappointed with me, my fault that my mother is stressed and depressed. I know they must wish I was never born, but they can’t say that, because then they would seem to be “bad parents”. I’m the fluke in the perfect picture, the one graphic, the one face, that’s out of focus. 

I ended up going to counselling in 7th grade, but whenever he told me that I’m depressed, my parents would object, and make me disagree too. So, after he suggested I start taking medication, they switched me to another guy, one who said that I just needed to “switch my narrative”, whatever that meant. I used to ask myself who would care if I died, but… now I need to ask myself, am I being selfish? Hunk and Pidge would care, they notice, every time that I’m having a bad day, they notice that something is off, they convince me time after time, to take a break, put down the blade for a few days, let my skin heal. But I always pick it up again, always feel the need to punish myself. 

3:40 pm

Once I’m sufficiently calmed down, and after I’ve regained my breath, I slowly make my way to the playground that’s just a little way off my running path. I decide to check my phone, see if anyone is posting anything interesting. I scroll down through my Instagram feed; Allura is on a family vacation, and she posted a photo of her in front of the sea, Pidge posted a photo of her newest robot creation, Hunk made raspberry cake, Keith is on some emo hike somewhere with Shiro, and he has a picture of him standing at the end of a cliff ledge. I decided to finally text Keith, hoping that he’ll be back from his walk already, and that he has reception. 

Sharpshooter: Yo, cool pic O-O  
Just some guy: Hi, thanks, Shiro dragged me on some 10-mile thing, he said that I need to go out more. I think he thinks that he has responsibility over me. -_-  
Sharpshooter: lol  
Sharpshooter: so… do you want to hang out smt  
Just some guy: sure  
Sharpshooter: we can watch a movie or smth ;-)  
Just some guy: there’s supposed to be a good horror movie that just came out  
Sharpshooter: horror, so you can wrap your arms around me when you get scared?  
Just some guy: as if, you would probably that one guy that screams half the movie =_=  
Sharpshooter: NOT TRUE!!!111!! T_T  
sharpshooter: so… do you wanna see the movie?  
Just some guy: sure  
Just some guy: popcorns on you  
sharpshooter: U_U fine  
sharpshooter: so… we’ll meet tomorrow at 5?  
Sharpshooter: yep, ttyl, gotta run O_O  
Just some guy: tty  
Sharpshooter has left the chat  
I know, I know, the whole I have to run thing was a lie, but I knew I would end up embarrassing myself if I continued writing. I was so excited! I’m going on a date with Keith…


	3. young love p2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a continuation of the last chapter (so no timeskip)  
> enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up ao3? for some reason the site's not really letting me post, so each chapter will probably have two parts.

wow, that’s, that’s awesome, I have to brag to that little green gremlin. I whip out my phone again and open our group chat;

Sir Lancelot: yooo! Guess who got a date with Keith!

Pidgy: wtf, no way

Sir Lancelot: you doubting me?

Pidgy: yes, prove it happened

Sir Lancelot: fine, I’ll send a screenshot  


Lancelot sent an image  


Pidgy: holy shit…  


Pidgy: it’s the first sign of the apocalypse, Lance actually going on a date  


Sir Lancelot: HAHA very funny =_=  


Hunkalicious: good job!  


Sir Lancelot: at least someone supports me  


Hunkalicious: good luck then, when is it  


Sir Lancelot: tomorrow, oh crap! I have detention tomorrow!  


Pidgy: so screwed lol  


Sir Lancelot: not funny  


Sir Lancelot: what do!!1!  


Pidgy: ditch, now shush, I need to get Iverson’s files  


Hunkalicious: why?  


Pidgy: he gave me a 98 when it was obvs a 100  


Sir Lancelot: no fair! I got a 40  


Hunkalicious: how did you get a 40? I thought the lowest grade would belong to Nyma and she got 50   


Sir Lancelot:Ikr, unfair  


Pidgy has left the chat  


Hunkalicoius: well, I have to go help Shay study, see ya  


Hunkalicious has left the chat  
I close my phone and sigh, I lean back until I’m lying down on my bed again, I close my eyes and smile. It’s interesting, how all the outcasts seem to band together. Well, I mean Keith, Shiro and Allura aren’t outcasts, they’re actually pretty popular. Shiro was a football star until he was in a car accident and he lost his right arm, and Allura was popular instantly because she was exotic. She came from London, so to us she was always seen as cool. She also became head cheerleader really quickly. Keith was a martial artist who competed internationally until he moved here, so that was cool too.

I don’t really have a “thing” persay. Hunk can bake, Pidge can hack, although that doesn’t make them popular. I can… aim really well… that isn’t that much of a skill. It’s not a good skill because the only time I can use it is for basketball, and yeah I’m tall and I have the build of a player. But basketball isn’t that popular on this side of the world, so… I’m mostly just awkward or unpopular, nobody really cares if I win or lose.

The thing with being a middle child in a family with seven children (as cliché as it is) I’m used to being invisible. So yeah, it was really pleasant when Hunk and Pidge became my friends. We’ve been a trio since middle school, were the three musketeers; one for all and all for one and all that jazz. But even though I have them, I’m still… still hoping I’ll be good enough for other people, not just the outcasts. Not that Hunk and Pidge are bad or anything, it’s just that we were the only choice for each other, so it would be nice if someone liked me just for me, not if they had to. It’s why I’m so excited about Keith I guess, I’m just a bit worried that he’s on a dare or something. It just makes no sense… he’s… him, and I’m… me.


	4. a date to remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little date fluff

Monday 5:01 pm 

I was waiting by the bus stop near the movie theater, I had arrived on time and was idly wondering where he was. While being friends with Allura and step-siblings with Shiro helped make me popular, I still had horrible social anxiety. That’s why in all my previous schools I had always been the loner. I preferred to be alone, not in groups, because when you’re around people, they judge you, over every little thing. And they don’t let you have your own opinion, I hated it when people argue just for the sake of arguing, I also hated it when people shout or use their hands too much… it brought back… unpleasant memories to say the least. 

I heard footsteps and spun around to see Lance running down the sidewalk, when he slowed down in front of me he was panting. He gave me a lopsided grin and I raised an eyebrow in response, I debated giving him a strike, but decided to give him a chance, after all it might not have been in his control. He started babbling about the bus; how it was late, how he’s sorry, that I look good, etc. I smirked slightly, it was clear he’d never been on a date before, I looked up at him, ‘wow he’s tall’ I thought. I smiled more clearly, “It’s fine, really” I said, he flashed a relived smile and smoothed down his hair.

When we got to the movie and sat down I relaxed back in my chair, but Lance just seemed to stiffen up more. I leaned a little towards him as the movie started, hoping it would get him to relax, but instead he just recoiled more, I sighed and went back to watching the movie. Man, this guy is closeted I thought, scowling slightly. That’s Strike one already, I hoped I wouldn’t have to get to strike three, I actually liked this one.

I had a pretty good grasp of the English language, because my mom made sure I’d learn it, but after she disappeared I hadn’t bothered updating or working on my skills. This resulted in the fact that I didn’t exactly understand slang and “text-speak” which probably made me sound stuck up, but I didn’t really mind. Unfortunately, it meant that I didn’t entirely understand the movie, instead I started thinking back to Friday morning; 

I’m not exactly sure why I walked over to Katie when she called me, since I honestly don’t know her. I was told by Lotor when I first joined the school that I shouldn’t hang out with the outcasts, but I hadn’t seen the harm, after all, until now I was part of that category. So, I guess that’s why it was so easy for me to just go over to her, especially since I hadn’t been able to focus on studying at the time. I usually manage to do pretty well on tests, so I’m typically at the top of the class. When she showed me the picture of me… I must admit I was kind of freaked out, since no one really wants to see a stalker’s picture of them. But I decided to humor the (honestly, kind of cute) boy, and gave him my phone number. After I told Shiro he spent around ten minutes just laughing, and still had the odd giggle escape him, Allura thought it was cute and Lotor said that it wasn’t fair to “make the poor boy feel special only to break his heart”. Even after I explained to him that it wasn’t a prank. But that guy was little (ok, really) haughty, so I ignored him. 

I snapped back to the present when I felt a hand resting on my shoulders, I groaned internally, my god this guy was totally a virgin. Nevertheless, I indulged him and leaned closer, smiling softly, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a proper date, and it felt nice to take it slow. When the movie ended I asked him if he needed a ride home, he said that he did so I led him towards the parking lot, where my bike was parked. “so… what kind of car do you have?” he asked, still looking uncomfortable, I grinned and replied “Shiro has a car, I have a bike.” He gaped and stopped walking. “you have a bike, like, a bike, bike, a motorcycle.” He said lamely, I nodded my confirmation and tossed him a helmet. He caught it and put it on, grinning foolishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the fluff, it's what I like to write best, I hope this chapter made you smile. And like always, please comment and leave kudos.


	5. family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the date, Lance get grilled by his siblings

Monday, 9:02 pm   
My hair is all messed up by the time I get back home, Keith giving me a little wave and a wink before roaring off. I smile giddily, fumbling with my key at the door, and walk in, closing the door and leaning against it, closing my eyes. Only to open them as my little sister brother Carlos jumps at me and hangs onto my leg. “who was that was that a motorcycle can I ride it did you get to drive it?” he continues firing off questions while I gently try to dislodge him from my leg. “that was Keith, and get off!” he sticks his tongue out at me and jumps off my foot, running up the stairs, “Lance has a boyfrieeeend” he screams. I facepalm, well there goes my quiet evening. I hear my twin, Maria “spill now!” she says and I roll my eyes, letting her lead me to our shared room. We sit on the bottom bed (mine) and I get grilled about the date by my siblings. “what does he look like?”, “what did you do?”, “did you kiss?”… I groaned and started answering their questions. 

It’s past ten when my mom finally shouts at everyone to go to sleep. I shower and I’m just putting on my second facial mask, when I hear my phone buzz. I tiptoe across the hall and grab my phone, careful not to wake up Maria. And open my messages, smiling when I see who it’s from. 

Keith <3: you wrote a heart near my name? really?   
Lancylance: heh, guilty as charged.   
Keith <3: …  
Lancylance: I had a lot of fun today  
Keith <3: yeah, me too…  
Lancylance: my siblings grilled me about everything  
Keith <3: you told them the part where you started screaming in the movie?  
Lancylance: no I didn’t!   
Keith <3: I have the nail imprints to prove it  
Keith <3: you clutched my arm so hard I thought you were going to cut it off  
Lancylance: :(  
Lancylance: oh shoot, it’s 11 gtg   
Lancylance: gotta get my beuty sleep  
Keith <3: night  
Lancylance: shit! My homework for Iverson!  
Keith <3: good luck :)  
Lancylance has left the chat

I sigh and turn on the small light over my bed and take out my books, it was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from here things are going to start getting darker, I wrote it based on some of the Dear Evan Hansen songs, so a few parts will be similar, but others will be different. As always, please comment and leave kudos, sorry for the short chapter


	6. teach me how to say goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things start derailing as an unexpected event occurs.

Keith <3: I’m really sorry  
Lanceylance: for what?  
Keith has left

 

What do you do, if you are drowning, and no one notices? I you fall, and no one can tell? What do you do if you shout and no one can hear you?   
The answer; you sink, let loose that last breath, stay down, you shut your mouth, and disappear. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and hit send.

 

Shiro started urgently calling and texting Keith the moment he got his message. It was just lyrics, but he understood, as he started panicking, he asked Allura to call an ambulance. He ran over to the apartment, bashing open the door. When he heard running water, he slammed into the bathroom door with his shoulder, hoping, praying, that he would hear Keith’s protests on the other side, but there was just silence. He heard Allura come in behind him but continued to try to break in the door. She rested a hand on his back and nudged him out of the way, opening the door simply by pulling the handle. She then gasped at what she saw, putting a hand to her mouth. 

He was just lying there, hand hanging out of the tub, silence heavy in the air. A sob escaped Allura’s lips, and Shiro dropped to his knees. This boy, this amazing, happy, kid who they had come to know, was just lying there, skin pale, and blood crusted. He barely registered the sirens from outside, all he could see was that cursed black razor, and the carefully etched words on Keith’s normally smooth skin. But then… we never did really see his wrists. He was always wearing his jacket, even in the summer, yet they had never thought to question him about it.   
The first time Shiro met Keith, was when he was fifteen years old, Keith was this cheerful fourteen-year-old, that was right before his father died and his mother left him. after that… Shiro can’t think of a time where he truly saw Keith smile properly, it was always this small grin, almost nonexistent. 

Sing me to sleep now  
Sing me to sleep  
Won’t you sing me to sleep now?  
Sing me to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was very interesting to write <3.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, sorry I haven't updated for forever, I wasn't in a great place and I had lost my joy in writing, I'm going to be re-editing this. I've also opened a Tumblr for prompts, so if you'd lke something written for you (no NSFW) head on over to 'unusuallyenchantingbouquet'


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